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来自西弗吉尼亚的一个男孩离开家乡进了一所大学，但学期还不到三分之一他就挥霍掉了父母给的生活费。 这时，他想到一个主意。他打电话给乡下的父亲。"爸爸，”他说，“你绝对不会相信现代教育所创造的奇迹！这里竟然有一门能教小狗菲多说话的课程！” "那可太神奇了！”父亲说道，"我怎么才能让菲多上这门课程？" “只需把菲多学费1000美元寄来就行，"男孩说，‘‘我负责让他选报这门课程。 于是，男孩的父亲寄来了菲多学费1000美元。学期进行到三分之二时，钱又花光了。男孩再次给父亲打电话。 "菲多表现怎么样,儿子？"他的父亲问道。 “棒极了，爸爸，他说起话来滔滔不绝。”他回答说，"但是你一定不敢相信，因为这门课程取得了这么好的效果，他们又开设了一门课程教动物读书呢。’’ "读书"他的父亲惊讶地说，“不是开玩笑吧丨怎样才能让菲多学习这门课程？” "你寄来2500美元就行,我给他报名。” 于是，他的父亲把钱寄了过来。 这时男孩遇到一个难题：年底回家父亲肯定会发现他的狗既不会说话也不会读书。于是，他射死了那只狗。 他回到家，父亲非常激动。"菲多呢？我都等不及要听他说话读书了。” "爸爸，”男孩说，“我有一个不好的消息。今天早上，我洗完澡出来，看见菲多像往常一样,躺在客厅的躺椅上读早报。这时他转过身来对我说：‘你父亲还和橡树街的那个红发女郎在一起瞎混吗？’" 父亲生气地说:“但愿你毙了那个满嘴谎言的畜生!" “我就是这么做的，爸爸。” "这才是我的乖儿子。” That Lying Dog A young West Virginia boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all money his parents gave him. Then he gets an idea. He calls his redneck father. “Dad，，，he says, “you won’t believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!” “That’s absolutely amazing!” his father says, “How do I get him in that program?” “Just send him down here with $1000,” the boy says, “I’ll get him into the course.” So, his father sends the dog and the $ 1000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again. “So how’s Fido doing, son?” his father asks. “Awesome, dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this—they’ve had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!” “READ!” says his father, “No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?” “Just send $2,500, and I'll get him in the class.” His father sends the money. The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home, his father is all excited. “Where’s Fido? I just can’t wait to see him talk and read something!” “Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room lying in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, * So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?” The father says, “I hope you SHOT that lying son of a bitch!” |
