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在巴西，一位妇女产下一个16磅重的男婴。问起她的感受时，这位母亲只做出这样的回答：“哎唷，我的上帝！" 我当时就想，如果这个孩子的父母是侏儒的话就有趣了。那样的话，父母和孩子可以穿同样尺寸的衣服。 这个16磅重的孩子睡哪呢？想睡哪就睡哪！ 根据婴儿出生的平均体重来看，这个男婴可以长到14英尺高,500多磅重。 医院的工作人员指出，这个婴儿身体非常健康,几天后应该可以自己开车回家了。 男婴的第一次进食是一瓶6盎司的配方奶粉。他吃得很好，没有出现任何消化问题。第二餐男婴吃掉了一瓶6盎司的婴儿食品，2个腊肠三明治，和一整盒的小黛比燕麦奶油馅饼。吃完后，他排下了4磅半的粪便。 . 男婴在第一次入浴时发生了一点小事故。这个体积庞大的婴孩一个翻身，引起了一次海啸。海浪以每小时500英里的速度慢过整个洗车湾，浸湿了几个印度尼西亚旁观者的鞋。 尽管男婴的父母一再抱怨说：“我们的孩子不是如来佛，不要再摸他的肚子了！”然而日本游客还是排队围观这个庞然大物。 政府官员已经在做婴儿父母的工作，希望用他们的婴儿来代替由麦西氏百货公司举办的感恩节游行中使用的大气球。 科学家们曾一度担心2004年12月份发生的地震和海啸已经使地球略微偏离它的轴心。而最近，他们如释重负地宣布，这个16磅重的男婴产生的地心引力已经使地球恢复到原位了。 医院工作人员要求这个男婴不要再在育婴室扮作大猩猩金刚四处行走。他们也承认这对男婴来说可能是很有趣的消遣，但对其他正常体格的婴儿来说可够吓人的。 A 16-Pound Baby Boy A woman in Brazil gave birth to a 16-pound baby boy. When asked for a comment, she said, “Wow，Oh my God, Wow!” I was thinking it would have been cool if this baby had been born to midget parents：that way, they could all share the same clothes. Where did the 16-pound baby sleep? Anywhere he wanted! Based on the birth weight of an average baby, this child should grow up to be fourteen feet tall, and weigh over five hundred pounds. Hospital staff indicated the child was doing very well and should be able to drive himself home in a few days. Baby's first meal was a six ounce bottle of formula, which went down well, as the baby didn’t appear to have any digestion problems. Baby's second meal was a six ounce bottle of formula, two bologna sandwiches, and an entire box of Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies. The baby followed this up by taking a four and a half pound dump. There was a minor incident during the baby’s first bath when the large young child rolled over and caused a tsunami that raced across the car wash bay at five hundred miles an hour, soaking the shoes of several Indonesian bystanders. Despite such protests from the parents as, “Our baby isn’t Buddha, stop rubbing his belly!” Japanese tourist were still lining up around the block. Officials were already in talks with the baby’s parents with the intention of using the baby to replace the underdog balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Scientists that were once concerned that the Dec. 2004 earthquake and tsunami had knocked the earth slightly off its axis were relieved to announce that the gravitational forces generated by the 16-pound baby had put it back. Hospital staff had asked the baby to stop stomping around the nursery pretending to be Godzilla. While they admitted that it must be fun for him, it’s terrorizing the normal babies. |
