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一个家伙买了一辆价值42,500美元的林肯导航员卡车（分期付款，月付560美元）。 仲冬的一天，他和一个朋友开着新买的林肯导航员去一个冰冻的湖上捕野鸭，还带了枪和一只狗。 他们决定制造一片貌似天然的水域来吸引野鸭，可以让诱饵浮在上边。但是要挖一个足以吸引过往野鸭的大洞绝不是一个普通钻孔机所能做到的。 于是，两个人从新林肯导航员车后拿出炸药连同一根有40秒燃烧时长的导火索。为避免在点燃导火索后跑开时滑倒在冰上，他们决定采取以下行动：先点燃40秒时长的导火索， 然后全力将火药扔到远处。 这时，他们带来的狗，一只受过高强度训练、善于捡回扔出物、尤其是主人扔出物的黑色拉布拉多猎狗，以极快的速度冲向冰地，在炸药着冰的一刻将炸药衔了起来，这时导火索已经点燃。 两个家伙使劲咽下口水，先是惊愕地对视了一下,接着又是挥舞手臂又是大喊，示意猎狗停下来。而那只猎狗显然是受到了主人情绪的鼓舞，继续奔跑。 其中一个猎人惊慌之下拿起枪朝猎狗射去。但子弹的力度远不能阻止一只黑色的拉布拉多猎狗。这只狗停了下来，有些疑惑，但很快又继续奔跑。又一颗子弹射来，猎狗仍然没被射倒。不过这次他受到了惊吓，开始怀疑这两个天才是不是疯了。于是，这只猎狗开始寻找掩护，跑到了那辆薪新的林肯导航员下边。 两个家伙边跑边喊。这时，车后边红热的排气管碰到了猎狗的臀部，猎狗发出一声痛苦的吠叫，将炸药丢在车下边，跑向主人。 然后就是“轰……"的一声。 车被炸成碎片,沉到了湖底。两个白痴呆站在那里，一副“不敢相信竟会发生这种事情” 的表情。 保险公司的答复是，根据他们的政策，非法使用炸药使车辆沉入湖底这种情况不在他们 赔偿的范围之内。560美元的首笔月付仍须交纳……猎狗安然无恙…… Two Stupid Duck Hunters A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500. 00 (with monthly payments of $560.00). He and a friend go duck hunting in mid-winter on a frozen lake, with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the New NAVIGATOR. They decide to make a natural looking water area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. But to make a hole large enough to invite a passing duck is certainly not something an average drill auger can achieve. So，out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40- second fuse. Now for fearing that they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse, they decide on the following course of action： they light the 40 second fuse； then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible. Their dog, a highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING, especially things thrown by the owner, takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of dynamite, with the burning fuse, just as it hits the ice. The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and scream and holler at the dog to stop. The dog, now apparently cheered on by his master, keeps coming. One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. But the shot is hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused then continues on. Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes o什 to find cover, under the brand new Navigator. The men continue to scream as they run. The red-hot exhaust pipe on the truck touches the dog's rear end； he yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck and takes off after his master. Then “Boom” ！ The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the two idiots standing there with “I can’t believe this just happened” looks on their faces. The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. He still has yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments... The dog is okay.. • |
